Speaking of tears...

I got stung by a bee this morning for the first time ever. It wasn't like one those "OMG POPPED MY BEE STING CHERRY <3" Nah, man, nah... It was more of "OHMYFREAKINGGOSHWHAT THEFRICKWASTHAT" and then I removed the stinger and death stomped that bee in the face!
Anyway... it's funny because just 3 months ago I woke up one morning, got ready for work and stepped outside to take Spazzpup to the bathroom. As I stood there groggily basking in the morning sun I heard a soft buzz. I looked up at the tree/bush/plant with flowers in front of me and saw it moving, even though there was no breeze. Looking closely I realized that at 7:30AM there they were: bees, dutifully working away with a sense of purpose. At that moment, I felt envious. I thought: I wish my life had purpose. That was the week of the decision.
Last night there were tears. The stress hit me. The realization that this move is going to cost a lot of money: Money I don't have. I freaked. I cried. I thought, "How am I going to do this?" Should I wait? Is November not plausible? Cue massive panic attack and a string of incoherent curse words.
Then this morning as I walked Spazzpup I let the fear wash over me as my mind reeled. I made a mental list of everything I need. I made a mental list of all I want. I thought of how I could make it happen by November. Then I got stung.
I stopped. I got the stinger out. I called my mom to see what I should do. Once I got that taken care of, I wondered: Is this a sign? Is this the universe telling me something?
That bee had a purpose but in a moment of irrational thought it stung me and died. If I leave in November, am I losing my stinger? Am I getting ahead of myself?
Then there's the other side: Am I making excuses? Am I letting fear lead my life again?
There's such a long list of pro's and con's on both sides. I need to make a decision.
What the hell are you saying, Universe???