Holey Julia! (part deux)

Well... there you have it bros and hoes! That is MY (perfect) ear. It has been 3 weeks and I'm practically pain-free. I'd still rather no one punched me in the ear but I can clean it without getting dizzy and if done carefully I can lay on it with minimal discomfort. I made a hair appointment in 2 weeks so hopefully I'll be ok by then in case she smacks me with the hairbrush (My hairdresser is kind of clumsy). Crankie rocks! I think my next addition will be a third ear lobe. I'll do it either right before Christmas or right after. There will again be pictures.

I'm just surrounded by brilliant people.

Looking back on yesterday's post I feel I didn't do the potato gun story justice. In light of that I will be telling the tale in exuberant language.
On Saturday, College City friends came to visit: Weirdo, Goth Girlfriend, and Cracked. Weirdo finally brought the much talked about potato gun. The tale, however, takes place on Sunday.
That morning we all decided to drive out to the paintball field to shoot potatoes in the air. We went to the grocery store and went through the arduous process of picking the right sized potatoes and the right brand of hair spray. We went back to T-Bitch's to get all of our stuff ready and we embarked on our journey. We went with T-Bitch's truck and Weirdo's car. On our way I pointedly wondered out loud "Isn't the gun in Butthole's car?" ... ... ... We went back and picked it up.
When we arrived at the paintball field we see Weirdo's car not moving. We see the wheels turning and the car remaining stationary. At this point you'd think the rational thing to do would be to stop, get out, and help. Unfortunately, with T-Bitch behind the wheel the last thing to take place will always be the rational thing. T-Bitch GUNS the engine across the dirt, goes over a bump so big we all bounced and hurt ourselves in one way or the other, and then... we got stuck.
Let me recap: We saw one car stuck so T-Bitch attempted to get across. Then he got stuck. He saw that it was unstable terrain and he tried to get through... WE. GOT. STUCK. Are you shocked? You shouldn't be.
After much bitching on Butthole's and my part we got out to assess the situation. Two vehicles stuck in the dirt. Six clueless morons. Not a great equation. I slowly turn and ask "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU SAW WEIRDO WAS ALREADY STUCK! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" His answer? "It wasn't always like this. I thought my truck would make it." Hmmm... let's go over all of the things that are wrong with that line of "reasoning":
-It was ok for Weirdo to think "it wasn't always like this" since he had no way of knowing, however, T-Bitch clearly could see it WAS indeed "like this" by clue of one car already being stuck
-His truck does not have 4 wheel drive
-Hellhole is a friggin desert and we had an enormous storm 2 weeks ago that reeked havoc on all the dirt everywhere so the ground was loose on every damn dirt road in town
-Even if he had made it across, we still had the little problem of Weirdo's car being stuck. What were we supposed to do once we got through? Leave him there?
My friends are idiots. I love them but goodness can they be stupid.
So now I call Phatty to send Ingenious Brother in Law for assistance because regardless of the inopportune death of the Iphone by his hand he really is a very resourceful guy. While we waited there was much pointless hole digging in front of tires (apparently digging a deeper hole is going to get the car moving) and T-Bitch attempting to get out leading his bumper to nearly touch the ground... we gave up and started shooting potatoes. Hey, we had to kill time.
Potato gun:

It's pretty simple. You pack a potato with a broom, you spray the inside with hair spray, you put the lid on, aim, shoot, and look up as the potato reaches majestic heights/distances of 30 ft or so. It's pretty awesome. We did that for a while, we hung up a box and tried to shoot at it. I was the one to get closest though none of us hit it. Seriously I bet I could have, too. I missed it that much. We found a golf ball and shot that, too. The bastard went far.
Anyway... eventually IBIL and Cutie Pie came to the rescue. They had to evaluate the damage and get some ropes. In the meantime a couple of the sheriffs from the area stopped by and behaved like assholes to every one's much distaste. The turd buckets actually said "Yeah, we've got tow ropes and yup we've got 4 wheel drive but we don't feel like helping." Yeah... blow it out your ass stupid bully, hope you choke on your next donut. (Let me add, though, that I have no problem with authority, unlike my testosterone filled companions who claimed they "hate cops." I appreciate the work they do, but that is not to say that I don't know quite a few of them are a bunch of incompetent jack asses who couldn't get laid in high school so they went on to choose a career that gives them enough power to make them feel important.) After the unhelpful pricks left Cutie Pie and IBIL tied some ropes and pulled us out. You see, Cutie Pie's Explorer DOES have 4 wheel drive so they got us out in just a few minutes.
We left with all of our necks sun burnt and the guys's pride a little bruised but I can say this much about the experience: Potato guns rock. T-Bitch probably learned nothing and he'll encounter the same situation many times again but at least I won't be in the car with him again.

Catching up and behaving like a SOB.

Oh blog, 'tis been a while. Which is not to say nothing has happened...

I started a post last week but frankly I couldn't bring myself to finish it because of how pathetic I felt. Funny things happens the weekend of 10-17-09 but horrific things happened as well.
Awesomeness:
-Learning that regardless of being a Marine, a guy in a plaid shirt is still a douche bag even if he can kick your ass. Bragging about how much Yeager you can drink was retarded when you were 14. It is especially mock-worthy when you are 20. And a Marine.
-If a little Saturn couldn't make it through that soft patch of dirt then T-Bitch's truck that DOES NOT HAVE 4 WHEEL DRIVE won't either. Asshole.
-A potato gun is also good for shooting golf balls. I have the best aim out of all of my friends. I can also pack a potato gun better than anyone.
Not so awesome:
-Problems should be discussed when sober, always.
-I should tap into my insecurities before they bubble up on a drunken binge and I do something idiotic.
Oh yes... Apparently I have a lot more hidden issues than I care to admit to in a sober state of mind. I will not tell all because frankly I'm fairly humiliated ... there's also the bit about me not remembering anything. I think I'm going to have to take a break from the excessive drinking until I re-learn to control myself.
Definitely not going into details. I will say this though: Butthole is a saint. Seriously. I am very lucky he can forgive me when I behave like a complete lunatic.
Then this past weekend. I made it to College City!!!
T-Bitch and I embarked on a trip to visit Butthole and consume as much sushi as physically possible. Oh what's that? I behaved like a royal bitch again? Right... Apparently my reign of raging hormones and insanity wasn't over last weekend. So what the hell happened?
Well, Butthole didn't tell his parents I was coming to visit him, so I got upset. I guess I can talk a bit about the reason I freaked out the previous weekend. I really, really, hate that Butthole's parents don't like me, ok? It gets to me. It scares me. Butthole isn't a phased by it so I can't really talk to him about it because he is just very dismissive about it. Actually, I think it does bother him, which is why he is dismissive. You see, he's the type of person to turn his back on a problem. If he can't see it then it's not there. If we don't discuss the problem then there is no problem. Unfortunately, if I don't discuss a problem then I wallow in it until I blow up and spew a bunch of crap at anyone who stands in my way. His dismissive-ness only contributes to my troubled mind so I just don't talk to him about it. Cue the wallowing and festering of said concerns. Cue the drunken break down. Got that sequence down?
Well on Saturday when he mentioned that he didn't tell them I was there I got upset. What's so wrong with me visiting? Do they suddenly own College City? How is this any different than you visiting ME in Hellhole? "It's just different. Don't worry about it." Yeah, nice try, but I do worry about it. So I got upset with him for the rest of the day. We did talk, and I can only hope he understands. I know I have my issues, but just because his issues don't display in such a snot-dripping-out-of-nose, puffy-eyed, screaming mess doesn't mean he doesn't have them. His issue is confronting the issue. My issue is that I want to control every issue. We'll work it out... I just need to quit being a royal bitch long enough to get him to listen to me.
On other news- SUSHI! Orgasmic! Definitely doing it again next chance I get. All things crunchy sushi are delicious. All things scallop, salmon, or shrimp are a must. Going with 6 people as opposed to 3 is the best way to go. I didn't want to throw up when I was done so look at that- I learned to not over-indulge! Go me!
This entry is way too long already... Hasta la vista!

Picnics and gonads.

I love picnics. Did you know that gonads is a real term? No, really! Look it up!

PICNICS.
On Saturday Butthole and I went on my eagerly anticipated picnic. We had so much fun. We took Spazpup with us which was awesome because I always feel bad when I leave her home all alone. She behaved super well so I was happy. We made turkey sandwiches, guacamole, and salsa. Ok, I made turkey sandwiches, guacamole, and salsa but Butthole helped. We took chips and water (because our liquid intake is healthy). We chilled under a tree on my big pink blanket and ate. Then we just laid there or sat there or he laid while I sat and sometimes he sat while I laid and we talked. We talked about nothing and everything. It was fun. We were visited by some old people and their dogs which was nice because Spazpup had someone to play with for a while.
The weather was awesome. It was just breezy enough and cool enough with just enough clouds to look at. The grass was dry so no wet butts. It was a lovely day.

GONADS.
In light of having a new piercing I'm trying to find out everything I can in regards to getting the wound to heal quickly. My sister read that zinc helps you heal so I looked up some more information. I got as far as "In more severe cases, zinc deficiency causes hair loss, diarrhea, delayed sexual maturation, impotence, hypogonadism in males..." Ok, that's not true, I read all I needed to know but I still stopped and giggled at the term "hypogonadism." It's ok, you can say I'm immature. It shouldn't be news to anyone. On other news my zinc intake is already pretty balanced so I don't think there's much I can do but hope this thing heals quickly.

Holey Julia!

Let me start out by saying that if you read my title and thought to yourself "Gosh, Julia, that's not how you spell 'holy,' are you an idiot?" I would like to inform you that I definitely meant to write "holey." Because I am! I got my ear pierced again yesterday! Get it? I'm hole-y! Gosh I love puns. Don't you love puns? I sure love puns. Point being I have a new hole in my ear-nay- TWO HOLES! I got my Industrial done!
Behold THE INDUSTRIAL:

That is NOT my ear. Once my camera is fixed I will either change this picture or simply dedicate a whole 'nother post to my piercing.
I had wanted this piercing for years now but the chicken-sh in me kept putting it off. Part of me was afraid of the pain and part of me wasn't sure I could pull it off. I've gotta tell you: My ears are perfect. Just sayin'... So basically if this piercing looked like hell I'd either have to live with it or live with permanent scars on my no longer perfect ears.
Last week I decided that since I would be getting off early on Monday I'd be going to the tattoo house and putting brand-spankin new holes in my ear. NO ONE KNEW! Well Temporary Roommate knew because I asked her to come with me since A. She has a car and B. She wanted her belly button done so we could both get poked together (sweet set up for a dirty joke). When I got home yesterday TR wasn't there but so I breathed a small sigh of relief... after all... I wanted the piercing but wasn't exactly giddy about putting a needle through my skin. Then she got home- DANG IT! She told me to suck it up and do it. There was a lot of nervous laughter and sweaty palms. I stalled for like 15 min picking out a tank top (even though the t-shirt I'd worn was right there on the floor). Eventually we were on our way. We signed the consent forms that basically said Crankie (piercing girl) wasn't liable if my ear fell off (I know: comforting) and we did the pointing at each other when Crankie asked who was going first. I manned up and went for it. Here's a freaky fact: I went to school with Crankie. I don't think she recognized me or anything because we weren't friends in High School but this girl graduated with me. SHE'S MY FREAKIN AGE! Sort of freaky but she looked trustworthy and this is one of the best tattoo shops in town if not THE best.
Anyway, she was really nice and didn't make fun of either one of us for acting like spazzes. She didn't mock me when I questioned her on health department approvals and sterilization. She showed me all of the new and sterilized equipment. She cleaned and marked my ear. She took her time making sure it was straight. She made sure the piercing wouldn't conflict with my glasses. She was very thorough. Then came the poke. Holy cow the pokeS. I was proud because I didn't scream, cry, curse, flinch or pass out. I just sort of sat there going "AAAAHHHHH that is very painful, frick, holy mother effffff" then she did the second hole and I did some more of the same except this time I said "AHHH! That one was more painful!!" None of this was said more loudly than my normal speaking voice so kudos to me. She made sure I wasn't about to throw up from the pain before putting the jewelry in place. The piercing itself was very quick though thoroughly painful. She went over the cleaning instructions and I was done.
I got to watch TR's piercing which was pretty cool. She's had it done twice before so there was some scar tissue to go through which apparently made it tougher. It looked sickeningly awesome.
Seriously she did a really great job and if my ear doesn't fall off within the next month I'll be recommending her to all of my friends for their piercing needs.
It still hurts and I've been made to understand that I'm going to have to put up with this throbbing for a few weeks at best. A whole freaking year at worst. It's worth it, though. I really love it.
I'm excited to show Butthole! Though I've talked to him about it before I didn't tell him that I'd be getting it done yesterday and the same thing for Phatty. The only people that know so far are: TR, Crankie, Guy at gym, Other Dr., Mom, Phatty, Coworker, and Boss. My mom didn't like it, but she's not a fan of piercings so I didn't expect her to. Phatty loved it and everyone else... well, everyone else can suck it because their opinion doesn't matter.
I want to pierce my earlobes a third time and I almost did it yesterday but I figured I'd wait for this to heal a bit before putting another needle through my flesh.