Selfish Julia: Reporting for duty!

Eleven minutes. That's how long I got to talk to Butthole last night. That's how long I got to talk to him all day, actually. Does that suck? It sure does, Captain! But complaining about that isn't what makes me selfish, in fact, that's a pretty valid complaint, I think.
What makes me selfish is that I'm slightly (and I really do mean that, this is certainly a mole-hill not a mountain and I'm not going to make it otherwise) bothered by how unapologetic Butthole is. That's not true. He apologizes- always. He actually started this morning by apologizing so that was a poor choice of words. What bothers me is that he seems unfazed by our lack of time together- on the phone or otherwise. Sure, he wasn't eager to get off the phone last night or anything. Of course he didn't blow me off when I ranted about the weirdo talking about make-up on TV last night. Most of the time he even sounds a little sad that we have to get off the phone, and I really do believe him when he tells me he likes to listen to me rant about whatever latest useless topic I'm going off about. My beef is with his lack of voicing his concern.
That's how he is, I know it. He's the type to not talk about things he can't change. Where is complaining going to get him? If it doesn't get him anywhere he doesn't do it. Though maybe he isn't concerned at all. I wish he was at least a little concerned. A little bothered. A little... guilty (I am such a bitch for even saying that). Not in a "he's doing something wrong" way- not at all. But just... I don't know... Sometimes I feel a bit neglected... there. I said it. I wish he felt a little bad about that. I know I would. But that's on me, obviously.
He cares about me. He loves me. All of this I know. To pretend otherwise for the sake of my misery would be insane. Like I said, this is but a mole hill. I'm not even considering bringing it up to him because it's really not a big deal.
Does he even feel like he's neglecting me? I'll be honest here: The answer is... probably not. I can't complain, though. We aren't "serious." I am not his top priority. This I know. If I choose to make him MY priority then that's on me. I knew what I was getting myself into when I started dating him. I knew he had more going on in his life than me and I knew that all those things came first. No only chronologically but on his priority list. That's ok. It has to be ok because it's not going to change. And if we stay together it's not going to change for a very, very long time.
Am I willing to put myself through that? Do I want to come second? For now- yes. It's worth it. I can deal with it. Yes, maybe I'm deluding myself that it's worth it. Or maybe I'm deluding myself that I'm deluding myself. Maybe this is normal. Maybe this is how it has to be. Maybe this is how it is for everyone. For now I'm going to make my own rules. My own rules for me. I'm not going to worry about how other couples do it. For now I'll be number two. If it bites me in the butt later... well... such is life.