But he picks up poop for me and that's what matters.

Let's not even get into people who whine about their problems to columnists... frankly, because if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have anything to look forward to on Thursdays except for doing the laundry. Anyway... here's one that I can talk about from Dear Prudie (from Slate.com):

Dear Prudie,
I am a
32-year-old single mother of a teenager, and
I
have been dating a great guy for
the past year. He is my age and has no
kids. Most of my relationships haven't
lasted more than a few months.
This
guy is perfect in many respects. He
constantly tells me he loves
me, gets
along with my son, helps me around my
house, plans his weekends
to include
me, and has introduced me to his family.
The problem is that
in the past
year he has never bought me flowers. I know it
may seem
petty, but it's
something I think shows a woman that a man was thinking
about her throughout
the day and that he appreciates her. I have
mentioned to
him how much this
bothers me, but it doesn't seem to
change. Should I be
concerned?

—Flowerless

Dear Flowerless,
Elizabeth Barrett
Browning
understood how you feel. In her exquisite
"Sonnet 44," which begins,
"Belovèd, thou hast brought me many flowers," the
poet writes of how the
blossoms from her lover have taken root in her own
soul. However, reviewing
your
situation, here is the first line of my
sonnet to you: "Flowerless,
thou art out
of thy blooming mind." You were
a teenage mother who has been
alone nearly the
entirety of your son's
life. Now, you have someone who
loves you, takes care of
you and your
son, and offers you the possibility of
building a life together—and
you're hectoring him because he doesn't conform
to some horticultural
cliché
you've invested with disproportionate meaning.
My sonnet for you
ends thusly:
"Forget the flowers, lest ye be
boyfriendless."

—Prudie

This made me think: Butthole has never bought me flowers. I'd love to get flowers, sure, but I feel indifferent if I don't. And so no one jumps on the whole "Oh yea!? But does your boyfriend know you like flowers?" I'd like to say that yes, Butthole knows I like flowers. He actually knows (and brags about knowing) what my favorite flower is. It's weird because even though we've never talked about it I can understand why he doesn't get them for me and why he never will. He's not the cliche romantic type of guy. For that matter, cliched displays of romance don't do it for me, anyway.
I'm the type of girl that's more moved by her guy doing the dishes after dinner than diamonds or moonlit walks. It's not to say I don't like those things but you know... "meh." I do like being thought of, really. But I'd melt if Butthole got me a bouquet of white lilies just as I would if he brought me some dandelions from the park. Romance is simply not in him, though.
Yet I don't feel like our relationship lacks in the "awwww" moments. We are a funny sort of couple, anyway. PDA isn't our style. Fine dining isn't for us. We don't call each other "babe" and "baby" or post pictures of ourselves kissing on MySpace. It's just not "us."
Even without the flowers Butthole hardly fails to display his affection, though, that's for sure. He puts up with me, for one, which is saying quite something since I am a rather large, overflowing bag of cuckoo. He does show it other ways other than by not strangling me. He's definitely into showing it physically. No, not in that way, punk! I'm talking about hugging, kissing, hand holding etc. It works for me because I love it :) He'll occasionally do the dishes after I cook for him or take out the trash for me but it's not very often, though I notice every time and smile.
My favorite story: I was sick a few months ago and Spazzpup needed to go to the bathroom. Butthole took her out for me and when I peeked out the window he was standing there with a baggie in his hand ready to pick up after her. It would take an afternoon for me to fully explain just how much Butthole hates poop but trust me: It really grosses him out- more than most. The fact that he was willing to pick up after Spazzpup seriously said more than any bouquet of flowers.
Point is: The chick from the letter is crazy. If giving her flowers is the only way her boyfriend will be able to prove his love then that guy is in for a tough ride. In the past flowerless year and a half Butthole has displayed his love in more ways than I can count so oh well... Flowers would be nice... but he's willing to pick up poop for me.