Why, yes, yes I am quite greedy.

OH! Font change! I'm wild. Rawr.

Also, irrational.
I am very, very, excited because Monday is Butthole's birthday. I love birthdays. I love making birthdays special! Every one's birthday should be good-every year!
I am making Butthole cake and taking him to dinner Saturday night. I got him so sweet ass gifts.Hell, it's the weekend! I haven't seen him since Sunday so birthday or no birthday I'm excited.
Yes, I'm scared he won't like his gifts (I bought a bunch of crap, I think at this point I've got Christmas covered, and I was already eye balling a couple other things). I'm afraid the cake will taste terrible. Dinner is covered because I'm not cooking :) Here's for the greedy, ok AND irrational:
His friend, iPhone-lover, is coming down this weekend. Yay! Wait, half-yay. I was kind of looking forward to some alone time, or at least dinner just the two of us. Darn it.
Honestly, I think it's the long distance thing that kills it for me. Normally I'd be all about "let me have some me time please!" But I get all the me time I need during the week so by the weekend I am readyreadyreadyREADY to see Butthole.
Another problem is that I know he's not as irrationally eager as me. Yes, he wants to see me, but he's also very excited to see his friend. I don't want to share my Butthole! I don't think there is another person I'd rather see than him. I don't have any "real" friends. Sure, I have friends, but not the kind I can call at 3 in the morning just to talk. That's why my weekends revolve around him. He, however, is normal. He has good friends and family to include in his weekend visits.
It kind of bothers me. I'm not going to pretend like I don't wish I was his main focus like he is mine. I know it's not personal: he doesn't love me less; he just has a normal life and other interests outside of me. I can't fault him for that.
I am well aware that I'm the one that's wrong. I need a damn hobby. Anyway, I'll make the most of it even if I'm not the center of attention. I'll bite my tongue and smile big because damn it! I'm a good girlfriend.
Besides, iPhone-lover is coming! That makes Butthole happy, and if he's happy then I'm happy. iPhone-lover is pretty cool to hang out with anyway. Also, there's going to be cake! I'm not really concerned it'll taste bad: I'm a bad ass baker. Any weekend with cake is good in my book. Plus there's dinner to look forward to. So what that iPhone-lover will probably tag along? I'll just save my cute out-fit for our next "us only" date and order the chicken tacos. As for the gifts... I haven't failed yet.