The blond, the boobs, the Julia.

Yish... I've been a-slackin' ... I guess I haven't had too much to reflect on lately... Instead, let's recap this weekend. (Don't get excited, this is mostly a blog about how unexciting I am)

Friday Night: Temporary Roommate and I went to the gym together. I'm not doing that again. She doesn't take working out as seriously as I do and it gives me too much of a chance to slack off. While working out we decided that we should go out for pasta. That part is not her fault: I'm ALWAYS thinking about food while I work out. Plus she actually was thinking of picking up a salad from my favorite Italian restaurant. I said "Screw that! Let's go out!" Yeah... Butthole is still gone, I've gotta fill the void somehow.
We get home. We shower (not together). We begin getting ready and I say, "Eggghhh... I don't know what I feel like wearing." She said,"Just throw something on." Um, duh, that's what I planned on doing, but it's still an ordeal for me: Which t-shirt with which jeans? I settled on a cute tank-top and some jeans. While towel-drying my hair I come out of my room and notice that Temporary Roommate's idea of "throwing something on" includes putting on a short, and I mean SHORT, black dress, a push up bra (and let me tell you: her cup spilleth over), and hair teased so high she gained about 4-5 inches which, by the by, were to be complemented with 3 inch heels.
Errrmmmm... Do I look ok? Should I wear a dress too?
The problem was that, sure, I could wear a dress, but I'm still no bombshell. My dress of choice was a strapless white dress with blue polka-dots. It actually came with tulle underneath to make it flare but I cut that shit off right after the first time I wore it (for an awards ceremony in school). Tulle? Me? Nope... too dressy. I would have probably worn it too, but my dog ate my white flip flops and I haven't replaced them yet. Oh yes, I was planning on wearing flip flops. Are you kidding? Me in a dress AND heels? Ha. I didn't even wear heels to my senior prom.
She says, "Oh Julia! Come on! Dress up tonight, let's get all dolled up and go out." "Umm... I took a shower AND washed my hair... isn't that dolled up enough?" Damn it... the cajoling ensues. So I go back and I put on make up. Ok, I would have done that anyway because I do, indeed, love make up. And I put on the dressiest outfit I can muster: dark Capri jeans, a white (dressy) tank top with black polka dots, and the wedge sandals I wore for my graduation... 2 years ago!
I was so damn uncomfortable. She loves the whole "look at me" porn look. Blah... give me Chucks and jeans any day.
In the end we changed our mind and went to a different restaurant -BAD CHOICE. The food was terrible. On the positive: I ran into an old friend and they gave us a discount. Also, it made for awesome dinner talk. "It" being my old friend who informed me that she's pregnant again Me: "CONGRATULATIONS!" Her: "Umm... yeah... try the veal piccatta." Awkward. Oh and by the way, her first baby's daddy is on America's Most Wanted... for first degree murder. Fun stuff.
Anyway, as soon as we got back in the car I took off my shoes and put on flats. Oh yes, I took an extra pair of shoes with me. Don't ever underestimate how uncomfortable I feel in dressy clothes (yes, my outfit that night WAS too dressy).
We got home and Temporary Roommate changed into even taller shoes (red platforms she purchased at the porn shop) and went out with her Bimbo BFF who, by coincidence, was wearing the same dress as Temporary Roommate. She was also wearing stiletto-peep toe shoes that put her unstable ankles at high risk of ending the night in the ER, hair extensions (nearly as high as TM's), and so much make up on her face I could feel the break out to come sprouting on MY face. Have fun girls! I'm going to bed.
Saturday: We decided to check out the water side event that was new this year. Another compare and contrast between Temporary Roommate and myself.
Her idea of getting ready to go to the river: Putting on her bikini and a black dress (not the same from last night), putting on make up, flat-ironing her hair and then teasing it 3 inches high.
My idea of getting ready for the river: Putting on my bikini, a pair of shorts and a black top, making sure my make up from last night is all gone, putting my hair in a pony tail, and covering my whole body with SPF 70. Oh and don't forget filling my re-usable water bottle with refreshing cold water.
Hmm...
We ran into some guys she met at a party the night before. On the positive: Hello? Free boat ride. Everything else: They were such tools I nearly made my tongue bleed while biting it every time they made a "clever" comment. I am such an party pooper.
*THIS BLOG INTERRUPTED BY AWESOME NEWS*
HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER! Butthole is coming home Friday! AHHHHH!!!! I'm so excited I could poop!
*Now back to your regular programming*
When we got out of the water we walked to the car in our bikinis. After the 2nd request to kiss a stranger I decided: "Wet shorts be damned I'm putting my clothes back on." We still received yet another clever phrasing of "Hey ladies, where the party at?" Which incited a great response from Temporary Roommate:
Prick in car: Hey girls, you hanging out tonight?
Temporary Rommate: Yeah... BY MYSELF.
Cue Julia laughing her ass off. Great ending to an alright afternoon.
That night I went out with Phatty (wearing Crapi jeans, a black tank top, and my Chucks. I had my hair in a bun. Sweet, sweet comfort.) We went to McDonald's, ate hot fudge sundaes (extra fudge) and talked til they locked the doors. It was a good night. In contrast, Temporary Roommate didn't come home til the next morning.
Sunday I parked my butt on the couch and watched Sex and City all day. It was a great day.
Yes, I am quite a boring person. I am also quite alright with that.