Wife AND mother?

Remember the bit about my fear of marriage? I learned something yesterday. I came across the question "did you get married to be a wife or to be a mother?" Obviously I didn't become either because I'm not married, but it did lead me to think of a few things. I still don't have any conclusive thoughts but I did learn a few things about my feelings.
I want to be a wife. Not today. God, no, not today. Not tomorrow, either. Maybe in a few years. I still believe that I need to know where I stand in life before I ask someone to join me on a potentially never ending quest to learn the answer. In the end, though, I like the idea of marriage. The idea of having someone to spend the rest of my life with who loves me and who I can love is a pleasant idea, a comforting idea.
Being a wife sounds good... being a mother... kind of different. On the other hand I learned that being a mother and being a wife aren't the same thing. Once they are combined, sure, they go hand in hand, but they don't have to be combined. You can choose to be one and not the other. Heck, nowadays you can choose to be either one all on it's own. I wouldn't want to be a mother without being a wife, but I can't object to being a wife without being a mom.
I also realized that I can't think of too many guys who want to be husbands. I'm sure guys want a wife. My pathetic ex boyfriend was like that. He wanted someone to take care of him, not someone to take care of. Marriage is a team sport (ha! CHEESE!) and it takes two people who are on the same side. So I guess now I know I need to find a guy who wants to be a husband as much as I want to be a wife.
I guess if I had a guy like that it wouldn't be so scary to become a mother, provided he wanted to be a father. There's another difference. There's the guys who want kids to have little play things to carry on their DNA and then there's guys who want to be fathers.
I sure as heck hope that guy is out there. Regardless of that I feel really comforted by having learned this. I never thought of mom and wife being two separate entities. It used to make me think that marriage was out of the question for me, but it's not. Now at least I know what I'm looking for. Well, not yet, but eventually. I know that when the time comes the guy I'll be looking for will be someone who feels about marriage as I do. I won't look for a guy who is ok with me being his wife but a guy actually wants to be my husband.
I thought it was all up to me, but it's not. There's two parts to a marriage and now I know both parts don't stand on my shoulders.